chapter 6

nov.16.2012

……..Someone held me, so warm. I could feel that person’s heart beating so fast. I held that person’s chest to get up and noticed it was a guy. I tried to open my watery eyes, everything was so blurry. A second later, I recognized him …yes, it’s him. The one I’ve been waiting for indirectly, not knowing the reason. He was someone that would hold me at my weakness, catches me eyes when I’m sad, and a heart that would love me at my worst. I wasn’t sure, but he always made me feel that way before when he goofs around me.

I looked straight through his eyes. I couldn’t help it but cry on his chest. He was insanely tall, so he took me by the hand and tried to calm me down.

“dalal haday shway ily ga3da tsaweena ghala6 may9eer ti6l3een oo 7altich chthy” he said.

It was m7amad, the guy in fay’s university. Strangely I felt so safe and secure around him. He took me back to the room and placed me on my bed. My relatives were looking at him weirdly cuz they don’t know him, but Aunt Dana did and she explained to the others. Aunt Dana likes m7amad cuz he’s responsible in every way and was proven today how much he took care of me….maybe because he misses fay.

“shloonich al7een ?” m7amad asked.

I nodded..That im fine.

“ tabeen takleen shay aw tshrbeen ?” he asked again.

I nodded no.

“ dalal may9eer chthy ya3ny shno tyaw3een nafsich …mo 9a7ya..habla ?” he asked with humor.

“maby shay mo yoo3ana” I replied…but this time with a really gentle smile.

“inzain” he said.

He sat there staring at the phone, then checking on me. Is it real? Have I lost my family…Are they really gone…yes, I answered myself. Life is miserable without them. I felt like throwing up, I don’t want to live without them. It kills me.

The doctor came in.

“ha shloonich al7een ?” he asked me.

“mashy il7al” I replied.

“ inzain tara bin5aleech t6l3een bas lazm ta5theen specific pills oo lazm takleen” he said.

“inshallah” I replied.

He gave me the medical note and explained everything, to me and the others in case of emergencies. Aunt Dana suggested I’d go her house. And the others suggested their houses. But I refused. I can’t handle the pressure of a lot of people or to see any kind of family around me, which might make me miserable and depressed more. Then they said to go back to my house. I refused, again. I sat for a minute looking for a place, where I could think and pull it all together. I thought of Hilton ilmangaf. I packed up and headed back to the house to get my stuff.

“3ayal ashoofich ba3dain ha?” m7amad asked.

I nodded with a smile. He took my phone to save his phone number. He waved goodbye and went to his car. My friends took me back to the house. When I arrived, I was frightened to go in. I tried to be strong. I ran straight to my room, got my stuff and got out as soon as possible. I locked all the doors and went back to the car. Deema managed to reserve me a ground floor chalet. We arrived. I used my dad’s credit card and continued my path. I picked my room and got settled. It was late and I felt tired. My friends were staying for the night. We said our goodnights and went to sleep. I tried to sleep, but all I can think of is my family. I cried until I couldn’t feel anything…I slept.