chapter 13

Nov.22

                I woke up at 9:45 A.M., and got dressed to go to my dad’s lawyer. I wore jeans with a formal beige jacket. I called my aunt’s driver to take me there. On my way, I bought a double mocha macchiato from Starbucks. When I arrived to my dad’s company at 10:55, I headed to the second floor. Then saw a man coming towards me.

                “salam ma3ach ilmo7amy ya3goob” he said.

                “wa3alaikom isalam..dalal” I said.

                “tfa’6lay 3ala maktby” he said.

 I nodded and followed him to his office, and then he started opening files.

                “ok dalal adry ina ilwa’63 9a3ab 3alaich bs lazm akalmch 3an 7alal oboch” he said.

                “ok” I said.

                “inzain 5al nabdy blbait…ra7 n7awla bsmch 3amitch dana layman tgdreen 3ala m9areefa” he said.

I nodded…

                “oo ilseyayer lich oo ilmfatee7 ma3ay…intay al7een 17 fa laman to9leen inshalla 18 3ala shahar wa7d n5aleech ta5thenhom” he continued.

                “ok” I said.

                “bilnisba 7ag ilfloos ra7 na36eech eyahom laman to9leen 18 bas ra7 ykon 3alaich ra8aba mn ahlich oo fee budget mo3ayan klshahar” he said…he continued “oo ilgardian malich 3amitich dana” .

                I yelled il7mdla deep down in my heart cuz aunt dana is just the best of them all and understands me so well.

                “fahma klshay?” he asked.

                “ee” I replied.

                “il7mdla inzain abeech tgrain hal awrag oo ba3dain wa83eehom oo mn al7een a36eech na9ee7a mny oo 5aleeha brasich dayman ….la twa83een shay ila laman tgrain mo7tawayata oo tfhmeena ok?” he asked.

                “inshalla mashkoor wayd” I said.

                “walaw” he replied.

He got up and walked me to the door.

                “ma3asallamah” I said.

                “ma3asalamah allah y7afthich” he said.

                I went outside to the car and headed back to the chalet. When I arrived,  I began cleaning up a bit. I had some music on to make a positive atmosphere around me. One of my favorite songs were “wipe your eyes” by maroon 5. Especially the line “tonight before you fall asleep I’ll run my thumb towards your cheek”. I admit I’ve always wanted to experience a love story, where I could be Juliet for once. Being loved and cherished by someone. I sat on the couch for some rest and drank Pepsi . It’s already 3:00 and the girls are on their way, so I ordered some burgers.

               TO BE CONT'D....... 

chapter 12 (cont'd chapter 11)

It’s 5:30 P.M., the weather seemed windy, so I went to my room to get my blanket. I’ve been thinking about all the times I lost my head, I’ve been thinking about all things i never said. Eventually, I’ll pull myself out of every fall, I’ll try to pull out of this one too. I called the reception to reserve a table by the seashore for the BBQ. 

        “banat shno btalbsoon ?” fa6oom yelled.

        “ana sweatpants oo hoodie” i replied.

        “ok” she said. 

       I wore a black hollister pants with a blue hoodie with my hair down and some black eyeliner. Fa6oom wore jeans with a red Ab& Fitch jacket. Mneera wore gray addidas sweatpants and lacoste pink hoodie. Halla wore a green juicy training suit. I locked the door of the chalet, then headed to the BBQ with my beautiful friends. 

      There were ground seats all over the seashore. our seats were beside the rocks. when we settled and spent half an hour laughing about what happened in school with the girls. I have realized that two tables away was reserved by m7amad and his friends. Fa6oom had her guitar and played us some of her favorite songs. I used to play drums, guitar and sing but i stopped since my grades were getting low. Suddenly, fa6oom handed me her guitar…..

     ”yalla sam3eena shay” fa6oom said.

    I played some slow songs and then laughed with the girls. my phone beeped… 

     ”walla t3arfeen ta3zifeen” m7amad texted me.

     ”lol thanks” i texted back, then blushed.

     ”haw shfee wayhich 9ara a7mar ?” Fa6oom asked.

     ”la mako” i said. 

        We started eating and enjoying our time . i checked my phone for the time. it was 9:00 P.M.. wow the time went so quickly. we had some more fun untill 10 then we had to head back to the chalet. 

    “mashya ?” m7amad texted me.

    ” ee ta2a5ar ilwakt mo 7lwa b7agna ng3ad akthar” i replied.

    ” ok take care” he replied.

    “inshalla you too” i texted back.

we went back to the chalet and went straight to bed. 

     

chapter 11

                                                                                                                                          Nov.21

Its 12:00 P.M., the girls are in school. I miss waking up and watching my dad laughing at me. A tear fell, another one too. Will the pain ever go away? The door bell rang, it was the cleaners. They came in and cleaned up the place. I went to sit outside by the seashore pouring my heart god. The sun was amazingly bright burning my head and the waves were very calm. I saw a familiar face coming near…getting closer. It was m7amad.

“halla wallaa” he said.

“halla w’3ala” I said.

“shlonich ?” he asked.

“mashy il7al w int?”  I replied.

“l7mdla ….laish ga3da titmashain bro7ch wain rab3ch?” he said.

“madras…lazm yrj3oon wayd 6awifow school days” I replied.

“aha 3ayal 3ady atmasha weyach” he asked.

“ee “ I answered.

A minute later…..

                “tadreen besawoon BBQ ilyoom blail 3al ba7ar?” he said.

                “ee w9aly 5abar” I said.

                “btyeen ?” he asked.

                “madry…lal7een bashoof wa’63 ilbanat” I said.

                “ok” he replied.

We walked for hours….talked about the weather, then food, then into other countries. Surprisingly, my phone rang, fa6oom was calling.

“aloo dalool ana w ilbanat yayeen 3ndch glna 7ag our parents nbat 3ndch galaw ok yaaaay ilmohim ya3ny its already Wednesday kilha one school night” she said.

“hehe ok shno taboon tit’3adon ?” I asked.

“madry ay shay yalla bye ilabla yaya” she said and ended her call.

M7amad laughed.

“hehe shfeek ?” I asked.

“thakarteeny ib ayam high school” he said laughing.

“ilbanat beyoon ya3ny lazm a6lb akl bsr3a fa I have to go” I said.

“ee ok allah weyach” he said.

“mashkoor 3al walk” I said, smiling.

“walaw” he said.

I headed to the chalet…on my way I called maki for lunch. Then I headed to take a shower. When I got out it was already 3:15 P.M., and the girls just came banging on the door.

“YALLA FT7AY ILBAB YOO3ANA” halla yelled.

“sorry knt ga3da a5ith shower” I said.

They came in and ate like maniacs. I laughed at them the whole time.

“Banat fee ilyoom BBQ taboon troo7oon ?” I asked the girls.

“ee bas 5al n5l9 our homework 3ashan ma n7aty” fa6oom said.

“ee ok” I said.

I headed to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate with marshmallows on top, Khaled’s favorite. I sat there staring at their picture on my phone, wondering how are they? Where are they? Are they ok? Ba3dain bas da3ait raby ina yr7amhom. My phone rang.

“aloo?” I said.

“halla dalal ? “ a man answered.

“ee na3am mno?” I asked.

“ma3ach ya3gob ilmsalam mo7amy oboch allah yr7ma” he said.

“halla…9ayer shay?” I said.

“fee ba3’6 ilashya2 lazm atkalam weyach 3anha b59o9 ilwirth oo il7alal” he said.

“ee ok” I said …not knowing what to say.

“fee majal tyeenly ilshrika oo afahmich klshay?” he asked.

“ee akeed mita?” I asked.

“e9eer bacher 3al 11 il9b7?” he replied.

“ee ok mashkoor” I replied.

“walaw ma3asalamah” I said.

“ma3asalamah” I said.

I ended the call and then went back to the sitting room.

“haw shfeech 6awaltay?” mneera asked.

“la walashay w ana ga3da asawy hot chocolate iti9al 3alay mo7amy oboy” I replied.

“ha fee shay?” fa6oom said.

“la bas fee cham sha’3la yaby yfahmny w shno my next steps” I said.

“ee zain” fa6oom said.

TO BE CONT’D………………….

 

chapter 10

I looked straight at him…kinda shocked. It was 3azooz. He looks so different with his new look.

                “salam” he said with a smile.

                “w3alaikom isalam” I replied.

                “nawar ichalet” halla yelled.

                “a7 3azooz chna mit’3ayer” fa6oom said.

                “hehehe ee” he laughed.

                “asf ta2a5art wayd dalool….walla zain 3araft ra8mich” he said.

                “la shda3wa 3ady” I replied.

We sat outside near the grass. I had drinks on the table. The best thing about having friends at ur place ina u don’t have to act all formal especially infront of 3azeez he’s like my brother. I act normal when im around him.

                “ha shloonkm” he said.

                “tamam” we all replied.

Faj2a sara7t …thinking about why would people wonder ina laish ma r7t il3aza ….i cant…i cant handle it ..the families and the tears ..and the darkness ..its hard.

“dalal shfeech sara7tay ?” 3azooz asked.

“la weyakom” I replied and smiled.

They were talkin about school…madry mita badawm. Aham shay ina ilbanat lal7een ma dawimaw lol.

                “3azooz ilmadrsa galaw shay 3any ?” I asked.

                “ee galaw ina bya36oonich sboo3 izyada oo lazm idawmen oo ba3dain hal 5bal lazm edawmoon” he said.

We all laughed. 

                “ya3ny lazm bacher endawm?” mneera said.

                “ee” he said.

                “ooof la2 mali 5lg” fa6oom said.

                “ana lazm aroo7 …omy taby cham sha’3la mn iljam3eya …ilsaye8 in7ash hehehe” he said.

                “hahaha ok allah weyak” I said.

                “okaik yalla bye” we said.

                “bye” he replied.

I went to my room to pray. I’m feeling so tired. I finished praying then headed to the drawer beside my bed to get my pills. They are some treatments for my hand. It’s cold outside oo I don’t feel like walking plus im so tired…I went sleep.   

chapter 9

Nov.20.2012

It’s been three long boring days with the same boring routine. I feel so lonely when there are plenty people around me. I feel like I’m losing control of myself. It’s so hard living without them. I used tell my dad that I wanted to go universities outside Kuwait, I regret saying that. I can’t live without them. It kills me inside every time I remember that car crash. Knowing for a fact they were fighting for air. Ugh losing my family is just way too much. Its 4:00 P.M. the girls ga3deen yitmashon except halla, she sat with me bl chalet. My phone started beeping.

“aloo ?” I said.

“hala dalal ana mneera mita9la mn starbucks cuz mobily in6ifa ! agool ta3aly tmashay weyana ” she said.

“mali 5lg plus bara windy” I aswered.

“yallaa shda3wa lbsay 3adl” she said.

“ok” I replied.

“yaay yalla nan6rich mny oo yebay ma3ach sha7an fony” she said.

“ok” I said.

I hung up and went to my room to change. I was kinda looking for a warm hoodie with my red sweatpants. I got some of the redbulls I had in the fridge. I had my hair pulled up in a ponytail.

“halla yalla imshay baroo7 3nd ilbanat starbucks” I yelled while I was walking to the door.

“ok” she said.

I suddenly felt a bit dizzy. Everything seemed a little blurry.

“oof yalla ba5ith coffee ams kilish ma nmt 3adl” I said.

“okaik” she said.

We headed straight to starbucks.

“ha dalal shloonich al7en ?” halla asked.

“a7san” I said. A tear ran down my face.

“haw shfeech?” she asked.

“wallah halla mo m9adga ra7aw lal7een ma staw3abt ilwa’63” I replied.

“dalal haday 7abeebtii gooly ina lilah o ina ilaihi raj3oon oo id3eelihom bl jana tara ma yaboon eshoofonich wntay tabchen oo ba3dain ohma mara7aw mokan e5ar3 ra7aw 3nd rabna ba3ad isma ira7man ira7eeem ya3ny ar7am mny oo mnich …yalla ms7ay dmoo3ich” she said.

“ina lilah w ina ilaihi raj3oon” I replied.

She hugged me and we continued walking. A lot of people were there, I tried to walk between the crowds. I felt so lost between them. Oof I hate laman a7awl adsh bain ilza7ma faj2a a7ad difasha ydz …wain ga3deen. Ilmohim I saw ilbanat ga3deen 3al table. It was kinda cold in here.

“ana baroo7 a6lb” I said.

“ok” the girls replied.

I waited in line…playing with my phone. In a few, my turn came up. I ordered a toffee nut latte.

“yalla imshaw tara bard shway” I suggested.

“ok” mneera replied.

We walked back to the chalet. While I was walking, why my family felt strange …about me going to Hilton..akeed baroo7 ya3ny where would I go ?… to my aunts and uncles  ily ma yoon  ilmonasabat iyoon 7ag wifat.hom w ba3dain I cant be around families. Oo yadity smillah 3alaiha matgdar 3al mas2oolya. I hate it when people think in the wrong way….

“haw dalal shfeech sara7tay ?” fa6oom said.

“la mafeeny shay “ I said.

We continued walking. Dashaina da5l oo I went to sit 3al sofa. My phone beeped. It was m7amad checking on. Suddenly school came up..madry mita badawm.

“dalal wayhich a9far oo jsmich 3ood  walah mozain starving yourself tara mo solution” fa6oom said.

I looked at her …

“fa6oom ilakl mala 6a3am bdoonhum …wla hal dnya malha 6a3am ..i miss them so freakin bad !” I said.

She hugged me hard…..i could feel her warmth. Fa6oom is the kind of person that would change ur day with a simple move she makes.

The doorbell rang…twice. I went and opened the door…… Oh my god.

chapter 8

M7amad is a really good friend..so I don’t really regret approving that he wanted to see me. My family trusted him a lot. I’m trying to ignore the fact that I have a crush on him..cuz that would change everything.

“banat  tara 7ady yoo3ana lazm nakl…this is against humanity take me to eat!” fa6oom said…laughing.

We said yes. Then we headed to pizza express. I guess we took an hour eating.  When the girls and I finished, I thought of going back to the chalet and just relax. Maybe a movie night until m7amad comes. We went inside by the front door. When I sat on the sofa….

“agool dalal tara 3azooz miti9il 3alay ysalm w egool ina ma3inda ur new phone number” halla

said.  

                “weee nsait I give him that other day” I said.

She took my phone and added 3azooz’s number. I went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. I was fine a second ago….suddenly all I could feel is tears. I miss them. I miss drinking hot chocolate with fay. We used to sit on the balcony talking about the hottest guys on the planet. I miss her so bad and I would do anything to see her face. When I heard that someone is coming, I wiped my tears and turned my face towards the fridge. It was just deema eating an apple. I took a deep breath and continued doing hot chocolate for my friends.

                “5ala9t” I said..holding a tray with hot chocolate mugs.

                “yaaaay” mneera yelled.

                “Dalal 3ndy so2al…ya3ny after Hilton wain btroo7een ?” halla asked.

                “allaho a3lam” I said.

                “wallah im serious ya3ny btroo7een 3nd om deema ?” she asked.

                “mady wallah madry” I replied.

My phone glowed. M7amad was calling.

                “alooo ?” I said

                “dalal ana bara” he said.

                “ok” I said.

In a weird way I was kinda scared. I sent him a text message that we won’t be sitting alone and that my friends would stay with me. He replied ok.

I opened the door. I saw him then I smiled.

                “ helloow” he said.

I let him in.

                “hi” I said.

He sat on the sofa jidamy and I sat beside fa6oom. Halla and mneera went to walk by the beach and now it’s only me, fa6oom and deema.

                “ha shloonkm?” he asked.

                “tamam” we all replied it kinda felt really weird having them with me. And I guess they noticed that. Fa6oom got up to get some water and deema went to change her clothes because it was windy.

                “dalal kan wdy akoon around la2ana wayd shabab ilyoom o laysama7 allah 9ar shay akon mawjood” he said.

                “ok” I smiled and nodded slowly.

                “3ayal asta2thin…bakoon around for the whole night …9a7by m2ajer chalet itha tabeen ayshay ita9lay ok ?” he said.

                “ok” I replied.

He got up and went outside. He smiled at me then went towards his car and I guess went to his friend’s chalet. It is getting pretty late. The girls came back and we continued our day watching movies. But I was too tired to get to the ending. I slept straight away.

chapter 7 (cont'd)

I’m trying to figure out what’s going to happen next. am i always gonna feel that lost, that dark, maybe. I have lost the most important people to my life and now my heart is broken into small that could never be fixed. I got out of the bathroom and got dressed. It’s already 3:00 P.M. I went to the sitting room and noticed that my phone was glowing. I checked the messages and it was halla telling me that the girls and her went to Starbucks to get some hot drinks. I went to the room to get my iPod, then headed back to the living room. i went straight outside and sat  down on the grass. The smell of the BBQ, the wind passes by, the grass dancing, and the sky baby blue, and the ocean looking so innocent when its not. I’ll try to do my best of surviving this nightmare. The girls came back.

                   ”hellooooo !” halla said.

                   ”hallaw” i replied.

                   ” ha u okay al7een ?” fa6oom asked.

                   ” l7mdla a7san” i replied.

mneera came next to me and gave me a medium cupped toffe nut latte.

                  “mmm……..banat ilyoom m7amad beyii…oo galy ina yaby yshoofny oo y6aman 3alay…3ady ?” i said.

                  “ee ok” they said  

chapter 7

 nov.17.2012 

I woke up at 4:00 A.M to pray and read some Qura’an. aAfter i finished i went back to sleep.

        “Dalool yalla goomay isa3a wa7da !” fa6oom waked me up.

        “ok” i whispered.

    I woke up and got cleaned up. Deema called room service for breakfast. Mneera called housekeepers to clean up. Halla got the stuff from the kitchen. Fa6ma and i went to prepare the table. After i finished i sat down outside at the sofa and stared at the sky. deema came and held my hand. she smiled at me and told me that i’m gonna be just fine. It’s nice having friends that stick with you forever. I had the most amazing friends that i could ever get. The room service came by and put the breakfast on the table. we all sat around the table and started eating.my phone beeped……

                              “ hello”  m7amad texted me. 

                               ”halla” i repleid.

                               ”shloonich ilyoom ? inshalla a7san?” he asked. 

                               ” ee il7mdla” i answered.

                                “dalal ana ilyoom yay hilton ma3a rab3y, itha u dont mind bashoofich oo a6aman 3alaich  :) ”                                      he said.

                                 ” ee ok” i replied.

                                 ” so akalmich awal ma oo9al ok?” he asked.

                                 ”ok” i replied.

         I left my phone on the sofa and went upstairs to take a shower. I realized that my hand won’t stop shaking and it really pissed me off. I tried to stop but it won’t ….i’m made the best choice of just trying to ignore it. I entered the bath room and stared at the mirror… I’ve always been told that mt sister, fay, and i looked alike. some thought we were twins.  i missed her so much. i opened the water and took a long relaxing shower. 

TO BE CONT’D……

                                

chapter 6

nov.16.2012

……..Someone held me, so warm. I could feel that person’s heart beating so fast. I held that person’s chest to get up and noticed it was a guy. I tried to open my watery eyes, everything was so blurry. A second later, I recognized him …yes, it’s him. The one I’ve been waiting for indirectly, not knowing the reason. He was someone that would hold me at my weakness, catches me eyes when I’m sad, and a heart that would love me at my worst. I wasn’t sure, but he always made me feel that way before when he goofs around me.

I looked straight through his eyes. I couldn’t help it but cry on his chest. He was insanely tall, so he took me by the hand and tried to calm me down.

“dalal haday shway ily ga3da tsaweena ghala6 may9eer ti6l3een oo 7altich chthy” he said.

It was m7amad, the guy in fay’s university. Strangely I felt so safe and secure around him. He took me back to the room and placed me on my bed. My relatives were looking at him weirdly cuz they don’t know him, but Aunt Dana did and she explained to the others. Aunt Dana likes m7amad cuz he’s responsible in every way and was proven today how much he took care of me….maybe because he misses fay.

“shloonich al7een ?” m7amad asked.

I nodded..That im fine.

“ tabeen takleen shay aw tshrbeen ?” he asked again.

I nodded no.

“ dalal may9eer chthy ya3ny shno tyaw3een nafsich …mo 9a7ya..habla ?” he asked with humor.

“maby shay mo yoo3ana” I replied…but this time with a really gentle smile.

“inzain” he said.

He sat there staring at the phone, then checking on me. Is it real? Have I lost my family…Are they really gone…yes, I answered myself. Life is miserable without them. I felt like throwing up, I don’t want to live without them. It kills me.

The doctor came in.

“ha shloonich al7een ?” he asked me.

“mashy il7al” I replied.

“ inzain tara bin5aleech t6l3een bas lazm ta5theen specific pills oo lazm takleen” he said.

“inshallah” I replied.

He gave me the medical note and explained everything, to me and the others in case of emergencies. Aunt Dana suggested I’d go her house. And the others suggested their houses. But I refused. I can’t handle the pressure of a lot of people or to see any kind of family around me, which might make me miserable and depressed more. Then they said to go back to my house. I refused, again. I sat for a minute looking for a place, where I could think and pull it all together. I thought of Hilton ilmangaf. I packed up and headed back to the house to get my stuff.

“3ayal ashoofich ba3dain ha?” m7amad asked.

I nodded with a smile. He took my phone to save his phone number. He waved goodbye and went to his car. My friends took me back to the house. When I arrived, I was frightened to go in. I tried to be strong. I ran straight to my room, got my stuff and got out as soon as possible. I locked all the doors and went back to the car. Deema managed to reserve me a ground floor chalet. We arrived. I used my dad’s credit card and continued my path. I picked my room and got settled. It was late and I felt tired. My friends were staying for the night. We said our goodnights and went to sleep. I tried to sleep, but all I can think of is my family. I cried until I couldn’t feel anything…I slept.

chapter 5

Nov.16.2012

              I woke up in a white room, where everything was so white. The nurse came in … i asked her..

                        “is it true that ..?

                       ” yes…” she immediately interrupted me and answered.

             oh god i couldn’t believe it ..i tried to pull it all together and kept asking myself is this real or am i dreaming..my whole family is gone because of a stupid car accident. I couldn’t remember anything except that phone call that came from the hospital. A doctor came in the room and started talking but i couldn’t listen i was busy trying to realized the things that were happening.

The voice is back on track…

                 ”dalal ga3da tsm3eeny ?” he asked.

                 ” la2 asfa” i relied with a really low voice. 

                 ” 6ai7tich ams kanat shway 8aweya 9ar 3ndich rajfa bl 2eed ilyomna oo ra’6a bryoolich” he said.

all i could do is nod. 

            He smiled and went outside. I’m alone, I’m lost, but I’m scared. I can feel my heartbeat going fast and my breath going so slow.

                 ”yooma yuba sara fay khaled yoosef wainkom laish r7taw o 5alaitoony laish chthy hadaitoony mny !!!”  I cried my heart out. 

Fa6oom came in running.

                 ” dalal haday may9eer ily ga3da tsaweena dalal !” she yelled.

                 ” fa6oom shftay ra7aw oo hadoon waaay ya raitny knt ma3ahom ” i said. 

            It’s true … ya raitny knt ma3ahom hal dnya wallah ma tswa bdoonom abeehom a7tajhum. A police man came in and payed his respects, then brought a bag with him, he said that the belongings in the car was all inside it. I got the chills and lost control of myself. I needed a hand that would never let go mine, i needed a hand that makes me feel safe, i needed my mom’s hand. i needed my dad’s smile. Sara and fay’s laugh. yousef’s smell. khaled’s face. I wanted to die. I started taking off the wires and went outside, then down to the lobby. I ran as fast as i could, but i tripped and fell. Someone held me, so warm.

   

             

  

chapter 4 (cont'd)

“9a7 kalamich seriously wain balga a perfect guy ?” mneera said.

  “walla shoofay true love doesn’t exist mny klihum players !” fa6oom said with anger.

  “la shda3wa fee bs gltlch they are hard to get”  I replied.

      It’s 4:00 p.m. already. The girls and I headed to chocolate bar and started ordering pink pasta and chocolate fondue. All I can see was calories, I couldn’t eat until fa6oom smiled and pointed at the food. I tried to eat some, and then I stopped. When they finished we headed back to the chalet it was almost 6:30. We changed to comfy and warm clothes since its getting darker and windier. The best thing about the beginning of winter in Kuwait, that it’s warm at mornings and coldish wind at nights. We went back outside and sat on the rocks in a semi-circle, carrying with us banak, termis and soft drinks.

      Suddenly all I can think of is me and my depressed life. Maybe if I change it, I can change other people’s lives…

      Surprisingly a bunch of halaga jumped beside us and started blabbing. Fa6oom shooed them away with her magic ‘cursing them’. They went away I guess they got embarrassed.

  “ banat ana baroo7 starbucks ashtry mocha a7is iny di5t taboon shay ?” I asked.

  “salamtch” they all said.

     I went straight towards starbucks. It was kinda dark and crowded. I opened the door and waited in line. I ordered my drink and got out. Accidentally a guy pushed me. 

  “ ana asif mo 8a9dy” he apologized.

  “ la 3adi no worries “ I replied.

I continued walking towards the rock.

 “ baaack “ I yelled.

Halla and mneera weren’t there..

 “ wain ilbaji ?” I asked.

 “Ra7aw yishtroon banak” she said.

“agool dalool shsalfitich mikta2ba oo zahgana oo chna mit’3ayra walla gabl kntay fa9la” she said.

  “haw mafeeny shay bs madry ya3ny 7asa iny ‘3air 3an ilawadm oo 7ady jaikara oo fat oo karha    3eeshty!” I poured my heart out.

  “ la yooba 6l3ay mn hal ka2aba mako a7la mn jamalich oo jismich 5a6eer shtabeen akthar mn chthy “ she said and gave me a hug.

The girls are back.

  “shisalfa ?” halla asked.

  “ la walashay “ I relied.

     I’ve noticed fee wa7d kan ga3d e6al3ny oo yibtisim mn b3eed. I smiled back bas mo ashkara ladaraja ga3da I flirt with him.

   The wind was so cold. The sky looked amazing with all those stars. The air was fresh and the waves seemed so calm. I was wondering maybe I would find someone one day that I could cuddle between his arms and feel so warm and secure. Maybe I’ll find someone who would kiss me on my neck everyday to show me his love. Maybe…….

  My phone rang, it was the same number that called earlier asking for jassim….

   “ aloo ?” I said.

   “ 3ash mn sma3 9ootich … walla gomar wntay ga3da chthy 3al ba7ar” he replied.

I hung up….

   “ banat goomaw agoolkom ba3dain laish” I yelled.

The girls freaked out and got up. A voice came from a far distance and its getting closer.

  “dalal n6ray shway dgeega” he yelled.

I stopped and turned around so angry.

  “ int sh3arafik b ismy oo ra8my ?” I asked.

  “ a3arfich mn twitter oo 6ala3t ra8mich mn number book.. walla asif ma knt abeech chthy t3a9been oo t5tar3ain!” he said.

  “ 5air shtaby ?” I said

  “aby at3araf 3alaich” he said.

  “ aham shay wain ga3deen shfeek int” I said.

   I turned around and headed back to the chalet. Laman wi9alna I went upstairs and lay on my bed and took some rest. I started thinking about this guy I had a crush on. He’s in university with my sister,fay. He once came to our house to study with Fay. Isma m7amad, he’s a good friend with her and I’m sure there’s no relationship between them, they always looked so goofy. Fa6oom came upstairs…

  “laisg ga3da broo7ich foog ?” she asked me.

  “ walashay ga3da afakr..” I replied.

She laughed.

  “ yalla goomay yal ka2eeba 5al nanzil” she said.

  “ hehe ok” I laughed.

I headed downstairs and sat on the coaches. My phone rang..it was a land line.

“ aloo ?” I answered…….

All of a sudden, I only can feel the tears running down my face. I couldn’t help it but collapse on the floor. I couldn’t feel anything. Everything seemed so dark. I was lost. 

chapter 4

Nov.15.2012 

          It’s THURSDAY. The school went really well. Today i’m going out with my friends, we might go to chalet and tomorrow to deema’s. My phone rang.

        “aloo ?” i asked.

A deep voice replied…

       ” halla momkin akalm jassim ?” he said.

I realized it’s not someone i know.

       ” la la nmra ’3ala6″ i said.

       ” aha ana asif ma3a isalama”

       ” ma3a isalama” i replied.

My phone rang again but this time it’s mneera.

      ” aloo halla manoor ”

      ” hallaw dalool agool tara ba3ad ni9 sa3a bamor 3indich yallla tijahizay” she said.

      ” ee yalla ok…3a6eeny missed call awal ma to9leen yalla bye” i replied.

      ” bye ” she said. 

           I got my stuff ready and went to the bathroom to take a shower. It took me 15 minutes. I got dressed and put some make-up and accessories on. Oh god, all this make-up and i still look so damn ugly. my phone started ringing, it was fa6oom. 

      “DALOOL NZLAY 5AL9EENA !” she yelled and hung up…she’s a maniac LOL.

        I said goodbye to the family and went outside to the car. I sat beside halla and fa6oom turned up the radio, then she started singing.

       ”3ashaaaaaaw” she yelled.

         All of them started singing. Twitter notifications were on my phone screen, i checked the mentions and tweeted “omw to movenpick elbd3″.

       We arrived. It took us an hour to settle down and organize our stuff. 7ijazna dor ar’6y. So we changed to swim suits. I wore a black bikini and pink short. We sat beside the seashore and started tanning. The sun was so yellow and bright. I felt the water going towards my feet and up. The wind was so cold and hot at the same time. The sand was warm and the tanning oil smelled like cocoa butter. Suddenly halla said…

        ” banat bagoolkom shay bs i’m serious  ”

we all said ok.

        “ma wdkom chthy wa7d e7ibich oo he would do anything 3ashanich ?” she asked.

        ” shoofay halla kilina naby chthy bs mny lay glna 7abaina galaw 3ana sluts oo lay ma7abaina galaw mo3a8adeen wil mishkila shayfa ilshabab ily 3ndna ista’3farallah kl wa7d a5as mn ithany except ilthgaal oo ryeyayeel wiln3m feehum oo 9ara7atan they are so hard to get oo sometimes nafseya oo ma ya3jibhum ila il3ajab” i replied with anger.

        To Be Continued…….